Waiting. Everyone hates it. I hate it. Yesterday I tried to make appointments for my MRI and surgery. I waited for them to call back. Three times I called. After 6 hours, no one had returned my calls, which were, I admit, becoming increasingly desperate-sounding. “Please, please, please…” My frustration kept growing, and I wondered if I would ever get my appointments. And then today, suddenly, everything was set. MRI tomorrow, chest xray the next day, surgery in six days. Now the waiting is compressed into just a few days, and my stomach feels like a tight spring. I’m nervous, a bit scared, finding it hard to concentrate on work and other important things.
There will be more waiting. Waiting for results of the tests. Waiting to see if I need chemo. Waiting for the next mammogram to make sure the cancer is gone. But there is one way I might be able to make the waiting more bearable, and that is learning to find God in the waiting. If I can praise Him and trust Him, and even learn to rest in Him, waiting could be a peaceful time, like lying in a green meadow waiting for the stars to come out. Lord, be the center of my waiting. Help me to trust You.